What I never did on a High School Math Test. :-0

I cried. I was actually laughing that hard. Thank you facebook. Hope you enjoy this. :-)

News

Hey all,
Just been reading some fascinating stuff at Dr. Al Mohler's blog. Mostly I am encouraged by the idea that the battle over abortion seems closer to the end. Praise God for ultrasounds! I suppose this would be a convenient moment to reveal my secret. JM and I are ten weeks and three days into our third pregnancy. We are very excited, and I have pondered more than once the possibility that this is twins. I have been more tired and nauseated than both of the other two pregnancies combined! But I am so thankful that this trimester ends in a few weeks. Mark your calendars for November 30. Of course, my kids have a habit of being late. So it might be better to just block out that whole week. :-)

April is Almost Over

...and what have I done with the time? Mostly, I have a hard time remembering. :-) That's a hint for some of you. More to come on this mysterious portion of my blog entry next week. Like, May 2 to be exact. So, back to what I was saying. I have managed to remember that JM and I went out of town this month with our Senior Pastor and his wife. We all drove to Maryland for a week and participated in a Sovereign Grace leadership conference. It was great! The guest speaker was R.C. Sproul. I so appreciate his life, and how he has been so dedicated to exposing the truth of Scripture, and in particular his "Luther-like" clench on the Sovereignty and Holiness of God. Thank God for men like that. He spoke for two nights; the first passage was Isaiah 6 (the holiness of God) and the second was the Transfiguration (the holiness of Christ). We also heard a great message by David Powlison on the proper purpose of introspection, and the purpose of studying our sinfulness. That being that it rightfully should drive us to the cross, increase our understanding of our need for God, and repent in order to pursue holiness and overcome sin by the power of the Spirit's working within us. Stopping the process at any point prior to repentence and seeking to overcome is not the way God intended it. At least, I think that was what he was saying. JM and I had a little debate on the intent of this message. And if he (JM) had a blog, I would send you his way for further clarification. As it is, you are stuck with me and my (perhaps) misguided view of things.

I will say that of all the things that happened that week, I was perhaps most encouraged by the time JM and I had with Paul and Darby. We spent a good bit of time discussing our personal lives, specifically the weaknesses and strengths within our respective marriages and family lives. I was so envisioned by the end to persevere, particularly in parenting. It was good to have two other sets of eyes watching over our lives. Paul and Darby have such grace in their communication, so it was easy to hear areas where JM and I need improvement, or at least areas of sin that we weren't really seeing on our own. My hope is in the Lord, but part of His plan for me is to place me in the care of a local body that loves my enough to speak difficult truths and apply the gospel in places I would rather hide from. Thank God for this glorious means of His grace!

Chicken Party. Seriously...

I am getting chickens in T minus 2 days and counting. YAYY! Three pet chickens which will subsequently provide our family with eggs (in a few months when they begin laying, provided our bulldog doesn't eat them in the meantime). We are picking up the coop from my sister-in-law's parents' house on Thursday. A completely pre-made and intact coop. Her parents are getting out of the chicken business. And the chickens are being donated by my good friend (whom I respectfully refer to as "the boss" ) Kim Thomas. In any case, I have decided that I must be a country girl after all. I have a (albeit really really tiny) garden, and (eventually) a yard full of kids, and as of two days, chickens. Well, okay, maybe not a farmer. Need a tractor or something for that. Perhaps a cow. Not likely. Oh well, I do knit. That's farmy, right?

Happy Birthday, Honey!

Johnmark,
I love you so much. You are my hero, my lover, and my best friend. I care for you more deeply than I ever thought possible. You embody the love of our Savior to me. You are humble, self-sacrificing, patient, and gentle. You lead me with grace, and by your strength in the Lord's faithfulness. You care for our children with a steady balance of discipline and love. You bring the Gospel of Christ to them. You teach us all with your example of servant-leadership. You imitate Christ in your love for the Church. You listen. You are slow to anger. I can not imagine life apart from you, and I trust by God's amazing grace that your spiritual fruit will only muture and sweeten as we continue to walk the road home together. I love you,

Taylor

Lots of Things

That is the title of the email JM sent me last Monday. It is an accurately blurry description of my recent life. And although I am completely exhausted at the moment, I did want to share a moment of clarity that I had about half an hour ago. I was walking through the kitchen carrying my sleeping Tabby to lay her down for an overdue nap. I glanced at what was left of the lunch I almost got to eat earlier in the day (which I am now consuming while blogging...veggie lasagna, by the way). I realized at that moment how wonderful and comfortable my life was. I have delicious (albeit leftovers) food to eat. I can choose whatever I want for a meal. I can go to the grocery store (like I did this morning) and splurge on a piece of chocolate cake, or some sparkling water (I bought both today). I can come home to my quiet, air-conditioned house that smells like clean (and unfolded) laundry and rest for a while before my kids wake up. I had a bath today. With wonderful Melaleuca shampoo (more later on that topic). My husband, bless God, wanted to work extra hard today, so he could come home early and give me a nap. What kind of husband is that wonderful?! Besides all of that, I have had so much time to read Scripture today. What amazing grace our Lord gives us. After reading several chapters each of Exodus, Job, Luke, and 1 Cor.(I am trying to catch up on my read-through-the-Bible-in-a-year plan), I realized how much I have that I don't deserve, and how much I take for granted, and how much God loves and takes care of me anyway. I believe I will be among the least in the Kingdom of Heaven, but wow. I am a citizen of it. My heart's cry is that I would become less on this earth, so that my glory could be in Heaven, and God's glory in all.

Proirities

So much to say. I am thankful beyond measure for JM and how he has served through the preaching of the word over the past two Sundays. I have been continuously convicted. I am not meek, I do not mourn. I want to change(well, sort of), but find myself believing the lie that greater pleasure lies elsewhere. Yesterday I was so struck with a desire to mourn that I really felt like an Israelite. I wanted to don the sackcloth and sit in my living room until the fullness of my sin was upon me. I wanted my two children to bear witness to me, so that they might also understand the vileness of sin. I used to read in the Old Testament about this activity (donning the sackcloth and ashes) and thought it was a ridiculous thing. I mean, who does that? What's the point? Aren't they just crying for pity...doing this to be seen by others? Well, I think yesterday the appeal to me was that I wanted to be humbled by demonstration of my wretchedness before God and my family. In any case, I didn't go through with it. :-) In case you were wondering.

I do want my heart to remain there. Go farther in fact. We really are cast on the mercy of Christ at all times. He is, in fact, so merciful that even when we tout His great mercy as our own accomplishment, He has greater mercy still to show us what we are doing against His Name. Wow.


To APPEND:

I want to confess that I am losing steam on the "schedule". Pray for me. Also, I am losing the battle with impatience a little more often these days. Finally, there is a college overnight retreat coming up at the end of this month (girls only) that I am sort of, well, basically in charge of. Much grace is needed, as I still have not begun work on what I am to say. I do have a vague idea...biblical womanhood. Such a small topic, I know. :-)

Habit...

I don't really have anything spectacular to report, I am just trying to keep up this "habit" of blogging. I am planning my flower beds this week. And (if I get really ambitious) my veggie beds as well. Also, I have begun reading a book by Paul...er that is, John Bunyan called The Holy War. I am only on Chapter 3, but so far, a great read.

JM and I continue to grow in our adjustment to the new life. I primarily speak of his job and consequent schedule change.

I would covet your prayers on behalf of a new friend of ours. A man named Keith. He is searching hard for a job. He has an interview today at 4:00. Please pray for him.

Appendix A: Not Pregnant

Sorry for the confusion...haha, I didn't even think that it sounds as if I am talking as though I WAS pregnant. I am not pregnant. Or as my friends call it, I am not prego. :-)

Quick Notes

Johnmark had his first day as an intern yesterday.

We are both attempting to read through the whole Bible this year (his goal is to finish in 6 months).


My anxiety about having another baby is growing for the following reasons:
1. we are entering a tremendously busy season of life, so I am lacking faith for the added responsibility
2. we are not clear on our financial horizon, due to some "complications" with our insurance situation
3. on that note, I am not sure that we will be able to use the same mid-wives that I have used with my other two, which would be out of the question in my mind
4. logistically, I can't imagine managing three on Sundays with JM's added responsibilities at church. Also, with Tabby starting school more formally this fall, I am again certain I will be staggerring to find time to manage the home.

I think that many of these problems would be present at any time, and if not these, then some other version of them. What is important is determining God's will. And please don't misunderstand. I really desire to have another baby. I wouldn't dream of facing these challenges apart from these two things. It is a matter of prayer.

Quarrelsome.
A word to describe JM and (moreso) me over the past week

Encouragement(s)
Susan B.'s prayer for our care group.
The kind congratulations of many in the church with regard to the internship
The "Schedule" is working
Karen's kind offer to help me with the house in preparation for our first care group meeting

JM has continued to be intentional about taking the children for me when I am crashing in the evenings, or when I need a few minutes of work, uninterrupted. Last night, B&N. Yesterday afternoon, the trampoline.

Finally, PRAISE THE LORD for His mercy on our nation by healing Al Mohler!

Happy New Year, etc.

Well, Colorado was very cold. In spite of that, I must confess it was a great trip. I can't quite call it a vacation, because I am learning that young mommies don't really have those. Although, one of the nights we were gone, my parents graciously agreed to watch the kids and JM took me out on a very romantic and sweet date. We walked around the snowy village (in big, warm, furry coats...well mine was furry) and held hands and got lost, but then eventually found our way to this rustic lodge of a restaurant. An Italian cabin, I suppose. The food and wine were molto benne. Actually, I don't recall seeing that written before, did I spell it right? Anyone? Well, anyway, wonderful night. Stopped off at Starbucks and enjoyed one another's company some more and went home so happy and relaxed. What a night!

I did ski. No, I don't prefer to ski. But Vail has the best ski slopes in the world, so I certainly can't be ungrateful for that, and yes, I did ski the black diamonds a couple of times. I like the lazy blues that best though...
Tabitha (as in, my three year old daughter) skiied. She loved it. She hated it. She was so darn cute in that ski outfit. So, I suppose she will want to go again. Titus did not dig the snow. (Good man!) He spent most of his time watching videos and eating fudge in the condo with me, JM, or my mom. Bet you can't guess who fed him the fudge...

Also, my favorite feature...the outdoor hot tub. My hair got just a little wet on the ends one night when we were in there. A few minutes later, it was frozen. Frozen hair, boiling toes. So bizarre. The best part is running from the tub back to the door into the building. Wet. Wrapped in a frozen towel and icy flip flops and of course a big furry coat. Giggling all the way. JM did it barefoot. No wonder he got sick. :-)

That's all for now.

the 4-1-1

Just a quick note to give the illusion that I do post regularly *ahem, Sherri...

First of all, Merry Christmas, and I sincerely hope no one reads my blog tomorrow, because you have MUCH better things to do. Now, we are leaving for Colorado on Christmas Day and will return on New Year's Eve. Take care and we'll see you next year!

NEW POST, YAY!

How about a stream of conciousness post?

Christmas...my grandma's cookies...well, not really cookies...the best...Tabby likes to make them...ten million Christmas cards...how many will I forget...Our picture was wrong this year.

Sin...so exposed on holidays...I hate that...I need that...can't I just get rid of sin?...pride...God opposes that...thankfully, it can be conquered...will it happen this side of eternity...probably not...wait, where's my faith...okay, maybe...definitely if He says so...help me struggle and put to death my sin, Lord!

House...dirty,dirty,dirty,...so why am I blogging...am I being selfish?...fear of man, perhaps...lazy?...just want to communicate I am still alive...yes that, I'll go with C. C is for Cookie...or Christmas.

I almost died today

This morning I woke up mad. I was mad because I heard both kids crying and it was pitch black dark and the LAST thing I wanted to do was get out of my warm cozy bed and go fight with them to dress change and feed them. I was completely impatient with my daughter and when she disobeyed me, I spanked her leg without explanation and ended up making things much worse. She is fairly dramatic, like her mother. (Side note: I do believe in disciplining my children through the God-ordained method of spanking; however, discipline of this sort MUST be done with the Gospel in mind, done with loving correction. My child should not sense MY anger, but the anger of a righteous God, and should be instructed by His truth and the salvation He offers through Jesus Christ that saves my children from sin's ultimate punishment. I would consider my actions this morning with regard to spanking Tabby an abuse of my authority, and definitely sinful on my part). So here I was with my sin and my two sinful children, trying to make things work by my own power, and in particular, through the forcefulness of my anger. Now, let's reflect for a minute on why I was angry (or who I was angry with). Was it my children? Sure, they had caused the inconvenience of me getting out of bed and dealing with moderately sick, very grumpy kids. But really, was MY anger THEIR fault? No. I was choosing anger because I wanted my own comfort and ease. I was mad at the One who sovereignly works all things for His glory and my good. I was not giving glory to God in the midst of my morning. I wanted to glorify myself and my needs. Even later on the phone as I was confessing my sin to JM, I noticed that I kept talking about how difficult the children were making it for me. So, I still hadn't learned my lesson. Well, I decided that I needed to read the Bible to help focus my day. I have been reading in Deuteronomy lately. Today was chapter 17. I will only quote a couple of verses, but here is what I read,
"If there is found among you, within any of your towns that the LORD your God is giving you, a man or woman who does what is evil in the sight of the LORD your God, in transgressing his covenant, and has gone and served other gods and worshiped them, or the sun or the moon or any of the host of heaven, which I have forbidden, and it is told you and you hear of it, then you shall inquire diligently, and if it is true and certain that such an abomination has been done in Israel, then you shall bring out to your gates that man or woman who has done this evil thing, and you shall stone that man or woman to death with stones."
Deu 17:2-5

So, granted I was not worshipping the sun or moon, but I was definitely worshipping my bed and rest (and actually, MYSELF) over the Lord and His calling on my life as a mother and servant of His Kingdom. What really got me was this: What is written above is the law of the Lord, something fulfilled through Jesus Christ. By His grace I am no longer under that law. However, there is also mentioned several times in the New Testament a need and requirement of having that same law written on my heart. Living with the principles of this law as my guide for godliness. Even as I am typing, I would say that I do not feel the anguish of my sin against God to the degree that this law punishes. Indeed, my heart would tell me I am light years from deserving to be stoned to death, much less suffering the eternal wrath of God in the confines of hell. What foolish things feelings can be sometimes. I pray that the Lord arrests my heart with this truth, that I may be in agony over my sin and truly TRULY repent (and turn) of it.

Thank God for John Piper!

I was just heartily zinged by this article, which comes from John Piper's website, Desiring God Ministries. Specifically, I thought about this morning when Tabitha (my three year old) was trying to ask me something related to where she would sit at breakfast, and I interrrupted her several times and forcefully gave my predetermined answer. Now, I knew something wasn't quite "godly" about what I was doing, but would not have been able to pinpoint it so well as Piper outlined in this brief article. I am gratefully convicted, in particular of my own arrogance, rudeness, and lack of thoughtful concern for my daughter's words and their value. I want to teach her patience, kindness, and that words do have value and meaning, as well as the thoughts behind them. By squelching her questions (and trust me, this morning was not the first time!) I am not teaching her any of those things, and by my own example I am damaging her thoughts as to the value of her words, and the value of lis-ten-ing
(as I so often question whether she is listening to me).

Wisdom

I have been wanting to do a topical study on thanksgiving, and so I would first like to ask a question...Does anyone know of a good book designed to expose the topic of thanksgiving and gratitude in the Bible? Besides the Bible? I always grapple with study guides because in one sense I feel they are lazy. In another sense, I want to humble myself and learn from whatever means of grace the Lord provides. So, there's my two cents about that.

Now, why is this post titled "Wisdom"? Because, it is a much easier topical study in the Bible. Hello Proverbs! Anyway, I have just finished the chapter on Wisdom as an attribute of God in the book "Knowing God" (see earlier post). More than anything, it made me hungry for the Word of God, and in particular, the Old Testament. Suprising? It was to me. I mean, I like the OT, but it can be more challenging to stay with a study of, say, I Chronicles than to study the book of James. You know? But wisdom is found in both places, and I would say the "fear of the Lord" variety of wisdom is easier to come by in the OT. At least, that's my current opinion. I am open to teaching and discussion there as well. I suppose that's all for now.

Newly Obsessed with Baking Soda

...and vinegar. I have been cleaning my house with this stuff like mad! I feel so liberated from stinky Lysol and Windex! Ha! AND I am saving money. Double HA! It all started with the carpet in the kids' room. Filthy. What were we thinking laying white carpet. Well, not white-white, more like semi-off-white...but still. The carpet was doing tolerably until the diaper-rash-cream-baptism-event courtesy of my little Tabitha. It never recovered. Desitin. Oil-based and deadly. The carpet became a magnet for dirt. The soap I had used to try and clean it (Dawn...hey, it cuts grease on dishes?? creatvity points, anyone?) also attracted dirt like a magnet, but miraculously, it attracted a slightly different shade of dirt. So you could clearly see where the mess was, as well as where I had attempted to clean it up. Did I mention this is the section of the carpet right by the doorway? So yeah, people were probably afraid to let their kids play on our floor, for fear that the carpet might EAT them. Fast forward about two years. Enter baking soda (and vinegar). Bye bye Desitin! So, I wondered to myself as I perused the back label of the 5 pound bag of baking soda I just got at Sam's...what else can this miracle powder do? Basically, I have decided, baking soda does for my house what the internet did for computers. And, I learned a fabulous little trick with vinegar that caused me to spontaneously throw away my Windex and Squeegee forever. 1/4 cup vinegar plus one cup of water plus one empty spray bottle. Add newspaper and the bathroom mirror. You know the one...that large streaky monster that you hate to clean because you end up squatting halfway on the countertop with one foot in the sink (which you now have to re-clean) and still, STILL it looks streaky and fudgy after you are finished. But you try again each week. That was me. Now I am doing the happy dance on Thursday when the free edition of the Watkinsville newspaper comes to my mailbox. Yah-hoo!

Another Day

I am trying to work my way back into this "consistent posting" thing, so bear with me. I am utterly shocked by the fact that October is only two days away...

How the gospel has been working in my life lately: may I first share His Grace!!! I have truly seen a change in the way I relate to my children. Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord! I cannot tell you how grateful my heart is to see this fruit begin to take shape in my life. Patience, joy, kindness, and yes, even self-control. I know that these changes are not in my own power or my own heart; rather, they are a work of the power of Christ's resurrection, manifest by the Spirit's conquering presence in my soul. They are a gift from God Himself. Please don't hear that I am finished with the fight. I know I have FAR to go in terms of overcoming the sins of impatience, anger, selfishness, and rude behavior. I am just freshly aware of the Lord's kindness and victory in my life in these areas. I have truly enjoyed mothering my two children. I have not been as impatient and short-tempered with them. I have not been harsh with them when they turn out to be foolish and clumsy. These may sound like small things to you, but for me they are monumental. I pray that His grace would continue to reign in this area of my life. My faith is so built! Thank you, Lord!

...and now I remeber why I hate spiders.

Yesterday, I was walking along my garden and noticed that same green spider in the same flower as when I took the picture on Monday. Well, about ten minutes later I glanced over and saw that "loathsome creature" (to quote J. Edwards) hanging upside down under the petals of my pink zinnia and sucking the blood out of a bumblebee that it was holding with its gruesome extra legs. And to think, I even considered posting on my blog that I thought that spider was kind of cool. In that moment, I had before my eyes a living picture of the power of sin. I had been fooled into believing that this spider was nice because it was pretty and didn't have a web like those big nasty banana spiders that hang around. It was a garden spider, helpful to my flowers by keeping away pests. HA! BUMBLEBEES ARE HELPFUL, SPIDERS ARE MURDERERS!!! I decided to relax my spider theory because this spider was different, a kind I had never seen before. But it does the same reprehensible act that all spiders do (besides having too many legs); it lives by sucking the blood out of other creatures. If that is not a picture of sin, I don't know what is. What kind of creature lives off of blood? Ick, yuck, and nastiness!!! I think I will go outside and spray that awful thing down with Lysol. And then possibly light a match.

SPIDER

I took this picture a few minutes ago in my garden. For those of you who know how scared I am of spiders and how STINKIN close you have to get to a spider to take a picture like this, be amazed. Taking dominion, folks.