Leftovers Tuesday

Tonite we had leftover pot roast for dinner. It was the kind of dinner that you keep eating because you think the next bite will taste a little better, a little more like what you remembered having a few nights ago...but it never gets quite that good. In the end you are satisfied, but not really. At least you are full. I think sometimes I can veiw my relationship with God the same way. Shame on me, I will experience the joy of a particular emotionally high time with the Lord, then I coast on that until it is the same feeling as Tuesday leftover dinner. I am not realizing that with God, it is always a feast! I mean, sure there are times in my life when I "feel" really close to God. But I am always His child. I will have the gift of salvation for all eternity, which in itself should spice up any old pot roast quiet time I can have. May I not walk in a manner unworthy of the calling I have received! Lord, teach me to love (all of) Your ways. Remind me that my joy is in my salvation, not my possession, and certainly not my circumstance. You are good to me all of my days, I am bound to eat at Your table for all eternity. What more could I ask?

Johnmark Tree Climbing (With a Chainsaw strapped to him, he's very proud of this)

 

Johnmark and Tabby Fishing

 

Happy Birthday, Sweetheart

Today is my honey's 26th birthday. In light of the fact that he wants nothing remotely resembling a party, I will have to use my blog for the birthday "love gush". :-) You can always stop reading if it gets too gushy. :-)

I have been married to this man for almost *gasp four years now. I have known him closer to six. I still wonder sometimes what God was thinking by giving me such a gift in my husband. He got kind of a raw deal, while I walked away with a precious jewel from the Lord. My husband has been through a greal deal in his life; he is the oldest of ten children, which means a lot of responsibility to be a good example and a great servant. He has excelled as both. He is a strong, yet gentle leader. He does not fear change or heavily weighted situations (though I do). I am amazed by his patience, his steady vision, and his integrity even in the middle of intense challenge. He has also had "misfortunes" in his life. I say it that way because I don't think he would call them that. From breaking his back to rolling a farm tractor onto himself to crashing cars over the sides of mountains to hospitalizing eye injuries to house burnings, God has chosen to repeatedly test my husband in the fire. And by God's grace and power, he continues to come forth as gold. I cannot express the gratitude to God that I feel when I look into Johnmark's eyes. What amazing grace! If you read this post today, I would ask that you think of a way to encourage my husband. If you know him, please give him a call or send him an email expressing God's grace in his life. If you do not know him, please take a few moments to pray for him today. That would be the greatest birthday gift I could give him, the prayers of the saints. :-) Happy birthday, sweetheart!

Discipline

This past Sunday, I really felt impressed by God with the following sentence: "Do not trade in the Disciplines of the Spirit for the Gifts of the Spirit." Our church, you see, is doing a lengthy study on the Spiritual Gifts, what they are, what they are for, which ones who has, etc. As I sense in my heart a desire to have these gifts and to walk in them, I know my temptation will be to less faithfully pursue spiritual disciplines, such as meditation and reading of Scripture, prayer, and the pursuit of holy living. After all, who wants discipline when there's presents laying around? Of course, God in His kindness has not left my heart in such a lazy selfish state. The power of Spiritual gifts is validated by one who is living in accordance with the Spirit of God. Or, as it says in Corinthians,

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing."

I Corinthians 13:1-3

The love that I mean here is not merely a love of others, although that is important. I believe the primary love to which this passage is refering is a love of Other, as in God. From a love for God would flow a love of all others before self, and in particular a love for the saints and the local church. But I do not want to be blinded and miss that a love of God, of Christ, and of the Spirit supercedes all of these things. God says in His word, "If you love me, you will obey my commands." Seeking Him, reading the Word of God, and pursuing the mind of Christ are all necessary for Spiritual gifts to be most effective. I know that God can work through broken cisterns, but how much better to use a vessel set aside for His purpose. May the Lord draw my heart even more to Spiritual disciplines as I "eagerly desire the Spiritual gifts"!

March? What happened to February?

Okay, I know it's been shamefully long since my last post. I am at a place now where I feel like so much has happened that nothing has and there's nothing to say. My kids have been sick for one thing. I have the ever-looming talk on Titus 2, and then there's regular daily life...it's warming up and I have been piddling some in my garden. My peas and turnips are just peeking out of the ground. The daffodils are blooming, along with my pear tree...which in the words of my friend Kim, "makes me feel like I'm way behind". I have a library book that is now a month overdue. Yipe! But I'm STILL not finished with it yet. I hope they don't send the library police after me. My brother-in-law got married last Saturday and my little girl and I were both a part of the ceremony. Johnmark's birthday is 12 days away. And so you see that so much has happened I can't really capture in a post. I will just have to move on. Two things on my mind today...let's see if I can get to them both. First, I wanted to share about one of my favorite times of prayer that I look forward to each week with total expectancy. At 9:00 on each Sunday morning (one hour before the service starts) a handful of us arrive to pray over the service. It is amazing how God moves during that time WITHOUT fail each week. Would that our entire church came to just one of these times to see and be blessed by the power of God. If you have something like this available to you on Sundays, please take advantage. There's no fuel for faith like the heartfelt, desperate prayers of some hungry believers on a Sunday morning. Ok ok, so what does this time look like, you ask? Well, a gentleman in our church sort of "leads" the time. I say this loosely because truly the Spirit of God leads it. Andy brings a passage of Scripture that the Lord has laid on him, or he may mention specific needs the pastor has requested us to pray about (e.g. faith for boldness, sensitivity, physical strength if he hasn't slept well) or sometimes we just pray. We bow our heads and cry out to God for his activity in our midst. We ask for vision, power, anointing of the leaders, sincerity in the worship, open hearts to the message, we pray for the congregation, both generally and naming specific names if the Spirit leads. We pray for visitors to come, we pray for Spiritual gifts to be used freely and without fear of man. Whatever the Lord lays on our hearts, we pray. And here's the AMAZING thing. God answers us. I know it sounds so simple, but when you cry out for 7 visitors to come and exactly that many do, or if you ask for Johnny So-and-so to receive ministry, and he goes forward at the end, or if you pray that God would touch single people and speak encouragement specifically to them, and the pastor stops the service just to pray for single people (having no prior knowledge of your prayer) it is astounding, it is faith-building, and man it makes you want to pray some more. And it makes me want to pray outside of that setting, like when my child has made the same mess for the fourth time in five minutes, I remember God's faithfulness and ask him to bless me with just a little more patience. Or when I am about to care for someone in a difficult place and have no idea what to do, I pray for God to speak through me and the Spirit to use me to bless this person. Oh, it's so powerful what God can use prayer to accomplish. And I don't think I have time to post on this other thing, at least not today. :-) Keep prayin!

What You See Is Weakness

I am putting together a talk for the ladies at my church, most of which are 10+ years older than I am. The funny thing is that I am talking about part of the Titus 2 passage, which calls the older women to train the younger ones to love their husbands and kids, to be self-controlled, chaste, busy at home, etc. I stop with busy at home, because this is my topic. And I am so aware of my failures. And I am so aware of my age, my inexperience, and my general lack. However, I am called to this. The one who called me is not my pastor, my husband, or even the lady in charge of organizing the talks. Thankfully, it is the Lord who has called me to this. He is the only one upon whom I could rely in the midst of this Grand-Canyon sized expanse of weakness. "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness!" And I am so aware of it, the Lord has reminded me freshly just now of His power, and His plan being worked out in spite of my foolishness and failure. Here is how. I just checked my email. There was one in my inbox from someone named Katie. Now I made friends with a Katie at church recently, and thought she might have emailed me. Boy did the Lord ever blow me away when I opened the mail. It was not from my new friend, but from a total stranger. A sweet sister in the Lord that I have never met, but who by God's amazing grace has been blessed by my blog. Not even just this blog, but one I started in college years ago. When I look back at the things I had written there and see the weakness and the failings (but also the grace of God at work in me, changing my heart) I am amazed all over again. First, that something so filled with my sinfulness could be redeemed by God for good. Second, that Christ would in his kindness allow me to know of this goodness. Third, that this would come at just the right time in my life (this girl says she has read for a while, but just now got an account to share with me) when I needed to know of His power, His working, and His goodness. God is so awesome and so attentive to bless His children! So, to my new friend...thank you so much for your words of encouragement and your heart's cry for the Lord. He works in the midst of your failings and weakness. I pray that you would keep such a soft heart that longs after the things of God. He will not turn a deaf ear to one who knows their contrite position. The Lord knows you are but dust. Developing spiritual disciplines takes patience, humility, and faith in the mighty grace of God. A friend shared a story with me the other day and I wanted to share it in hopes of encouraging you. She said that she has made bread for years, but has recently decided to start making all of the bread their family will need instead of simply making it from time to time. At first, the bread did well some days, and others it did not rise so much, sometimes it turned out really crumbly, sometimes a little overcooked. However, she did not change the recipe. She simply dig in and contibue baking bread. After a little while she started making really great bread. It was better than she ever remembered. And it was consistently better than she remembered. She said sometimes that's what walking in the spiritual disciplines is like sometimes. We struggle, and we forget, and some days it just makes for a crummy, crumbly mess. But, if we persevere, eventually, the Lord will allow us to develop and make for much better things than we can ever remember having before. "Do not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time you will reap a harvest, if you do not give up" Gal 6:9

A love for the Church

Just had a friend of my husband's stop by, and while he was talking with Johnmark, he mentioned that his wife and family are praying and fasting today all day through dinner on behalf of the church. They are praying for the other members to have faith for this coming Sunday's service, as well as for care group. I stood in the kitchen, hearing this, and feeling the jealousy of God in my heart. He longs for me to love his bride in that way. I may not be in a season where fasting is a possibility (I am still nursing my son, and barely able to do that), but boy, God can still use my heart. May I have a heart that so longs after God and the furthering of His kingdom, that my day would be shaped by such a sacrificial love for others. Praise the Lord for such a beautiful gift!

Supreme Court Justices

God has been merciful to our country in allowing President Bush to place two Supreme Court Justices this term. I would say that much of the controversy about the most recent addition, Justice Alito, centers around the Roe v. Wade desicion, which is 33 years old this month. Thank God for men like John Piper, who recently spoke to the issue of Abortion and our role as Christians. I would append to his message that we ought to pray that these conservative judges would have the oppurtunity to overrule and reverse the Roe v. Wade desicion once and for all. By the way, for those of us here in Athens, this is a list of the abortion clinics in our area, please join me in praying for the salvation of the employees, as well as for the (saved and unsaved) women who keep them in business:


A Preferred Women's Health Center
AUGUSTA, GEORGIA
2903 Professional Parkway up to 20 weeks

Northside Women's Clinic
3543 Chamblee-Dunwoody Road
Atlanta, Georgia 30341
*operating since 1969* up to 15 weeks

Dunwoody Women's Medical Group
3114 Mercer University Drive, Suite 100
Atlanta, Georgia 30341
*up to 14 weeks
This is written on their website:
Visitors: Each patient may bring one adult visitor. No children are allowed in the facility.

Atlanta Women's Medical Center
235 W Wieuca Rd
Atlanta, Georgia
*operating since 1975
up to 24.5 weeks...these babies actually have a fighting chance if born by this age.

Feminist Women's Health Center
1924 Cliff Valley Way
Atlanta, Georgia
*up to 24.5 weeks

Summit Medical Center
1874 Piedmont Rd
Atlanta, Georgia
*up to 24.5 weeks

End of the Month Eval.

I can't believe January is over. That means it isn't really a new year anymore (unless you are Chinese). I only have 11/12's of 2006 left to live. How have I spent the time so far this year? I think there is much groundwork to do in establishing, so I would safely say this month has been spent trench-digging for the year. Planning a new schedule for my housecleaning/time management, preparing for a new church location, re-arranging furniture, planning for my garden this year. All preparation for things that will happen later. Something else I have "planned" for this year is/was to really be intentional about pursuing prayer over the first three months of the year. Not that prayer is only important to me during this time, but I do want to focus here for a bit, and then, by God's grace, move to another area and allow this one to continue without being the main focus. And I am already a third of the way through that time. Wow.

What has God done?

Recognize my dry bones, and encourage me to fill them with living water. Now that I have seen my growing need for times of prayer and fasting, it is time to pursue with my heart what I have understood with my mind. Johnmark and I were talking last night about our mutual desire to grow in the area of prayer, and in particular praying together. I am excited that the Lord would move on his heart as I am in this time of growing in commitment to and desire for prayer. Also, this past month the Lord has blessed me with countless oppurtunities to teach Tabitha about prayer, and how God answers her prayers. Example: She had a rash on her little bottom...ok briefly, she went to a friend's house to play and they decided to play dress-up, which means they had to take off their clothes and put on the costumes...well, Tabitha apparently decided diaper qualifies as clothes and took it off. Somehow the other little girl managed to loan her some panties, but regardless, she played for a while soaked in pee pee dress up clothes, and hence a rash on her bottom. So, I talked to her about Jesus fixing her bottom, and she prayed for him to heal her rash, and the next morning, it was totally gone. Totally. I had not put any cream on it, and it had hung on for several days prior to praying (I was actually becoming suspicious that it might be a staff infection) and boom! God heals her. So exciting to see the light go off in her head too. We have been praying for other people who are sick ever since.

So, I am greatly encouraged but also have a sense of urgency not to dimish, but rather increase my efforts and see what God has in store over this increasingly briefer season of prayer!

The Strife of learning SLOWLY

As I walked around my house this morning, sweeping the floor and thinking about what I wanted to write today, I am increasingly fighting the desire to move away from this conviction of prayer. Taylor, move on, there's nothing new to say on this matter, you're floundering...clearly if you just started talking and thinking about this other topic, or just share what you're learning as you prepare to teach in March...and so my thoughts go. But, by God's grace, I also hear a still, small voice saying in the back of my mind "Stay." One simple word, that my steamroller brain wants to blow right past and call in the aftermath a meaningless swirl of dust and not the voice of the Almighty. I am learning now that just as a spiritual discipline becomes difficult, my human tendency is to charge away on some new valiant quest, of which I know there is an inexhaustible list (because I am so far from perfect). But I see that what makes a discipline called a discipline is that when the challenge of it requires you to dig in and continue in spite of the temptation to give up and move on to some more interesting or seemingly relevant task, you must resist and stay the course, crying out for more of God's grace and for your heart to wait on the Lord. To make a simple analogy, let's go back to my sweeping the floor. On many days I manage to get the kitchen swept alright, but as my broom moves closer to the living room and I think about all the furniture I have to move and how I also must walk all the way back to the laundry room to get the dustpan and how if I just look to my left I realize that there are a few dishes that still haven't been put in the dishwasher...and about half the time I lean my broom carefully over the little pile of crumbs and dust that I have swept and walk over to the sink to get these dishes washed; and sometimes at about 5:30 when my husband gets home from work, he makes his way to the couch, stepping across this same broom that has remained all day guarding the small pile of dust (which by neglect of being an unfinished task, the pile of dust is that much smaller), and then I see the broom for the first time all day, and I just can't believe I never got that done.
So now, my spiritual heart is looking around for some dishes! I need to perservere even more. I read a quote the other day that I have not been able to find again, but the gist of it went something like this: The more spiritual the task, the harder it is to cultivate this task. The simpler it may seem, the more difficult to master. I will continue to look for the actual quote, because I feel I have butchered it savagely just now, but my little son is crying for my attention in the other room and that will just have to do for now. :-)

The following is from Charles Spurgeon's Morning and Evening (sorry if you are reading it, I read ahead to this evening's portion). Had a wonderful sermon this week about intimacy with Christ, and this freshly reminds me of the difference between acting as a disciple, and living as a disciple.




“Martha was cumbered about much serving.”
- Luk_10:40
Her fault was not that she served: the condition of a servant well becomes every Christian. “I serve,” should be the motto of all the princes of the royal family of heaven. Nor was it her fault that she had “much serving.” We cannot do too much. Let us do all that we possibly can; let head, and heart, and hands, be engaged in the Master’s service. It was no fault of hers that she was busy preparing a feast for the Master. Happy Martha, to have an opportunity of entertaining so blessed a guest; and happy, too, to have the spirit to throw her whole soul so heartily into the engagement. Her fault was that she grew “cumbered with much serving,” so that she forgot him, and only remembered the service. She allowed service to override communion, and so presented one duty stained with the blood of another. We ought to be Martha and Mary in one: we should do much service, and have much communion at the same time. For this we need great grace. It is easier to serve than to commune. Joshua never grew weary in fighting with the Amalekites; but Moses, on the top of the mountain in prayer, needed two helpers to sustain his hands. The more spiritual the exercise, the sooner we tire in it. The choicest fruits are the hardest to rear: the most heavenly graces are the most difficult to cultivate. Beloved, while we do not neglect external things, which are good enough in themselves, we ought also to see to it that we enjoy living, personal fellowship with Jesus. See to it that sitting at the Saviour’s feet is not neglected, even though it be under the specious pretext of doing him service. The first thing for our soul’s health, the first thing for his glory, and the first thing for our own usefulness, is to keep ourselves in perpetual communion with the Lord Jesus, and to see that the vital spirituality of our religion is maintained over and above everything else in the world.

Abortion

This link is not for everyone, it is extrmemly graphic and disturbing, but as the site states, it needs to be seen. My heart is broken.

January is Time to Organize

Things to do, things to do! I am so aware of all the possibilities available to devote my time to. They increase exponentially as time passes, I suppose. My struggle is to do what God has called me to, even if it's not my choice and even if it may appear peripheral to what I consider my "life" i.e. my priorities. Persevering in prayer is definitely one of those areas. It seems so often to be a take-it-or-leave-it category to my day. Lord, change my heart! Proverbs 31:1-2 in particular comes to my mind:


The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him:
What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb? What are you doing, son of my vows?


The implication of this verse is the praying "vows" of the mother. I am called as the Proverbs 31 woman to be in prayer for my children. It teaches me that relying on my own wit, intuition, strength and creativity simply will not do. I NEED God's help, his wisdom, his will revealed, his power as my only true hope for success in parenting my kids. How easily I forget my needs in the midst of their sin. I am so quick to "handle it myself" and not pause to ask for help from my heavenly Father. But not only that, I need to be interceding for my kids. Asking the Lord to help them, strengthen them, draw their tender hearts to himself, to bless them, and encourage them (through me and their dad primarily).

Aside from devoting some time each day to this task (not to mention all the times I cry out in the moment of need, Lord HELP!) there are other ways I am seeking to grow. I am reading a book by Elisabeth Elliot called Keep a Quiet Heart, which really has helped to adjust my perspective about seeing the interruptions of my day as work that God has called me to, instead of mere inconveniences. Not just in terms of these times being oppurtunities to exercise patience, grace, etc. but moreso along the lines of this being what I am to be about, in spite of my notions about what is an important or noteworthy task. Seeing my day as the Lord's and not my own, and cheerfully moving through it with this perspective will do my heart a world of good. I do earnestly desire such a quiet heart!

Nothing Important

Hey! I really should be writing a nice long meaningful post, but instead, since it's Friday...I have a really great blonde joke to pass along. :-) Enjoy...

The Gospel and Prayer

14. Begin prayer each day confining yourself to giving thanks for the Cross and the effects of the Cross in your life.

Wow! That piece of advice has been sitting on my refrigerator for two years. And it hasn't really hit me until last night what a powerful tool prayer can be in orienting my life to the gospel. I have always loved John Piper's definition of prayer because it is so simple. Prayer is asking. How true. So, strictly speaking, I would say that giving thanks is possibly a tunnel or state of heart through which prayer can be expressed. How kind of God that it is also a means of grace to us. When I begin by thanking God for the Cross, it reminds me of His love for me and for the price of my salvation (being the very blood of Christ incarnate). I am instantly humbled, and aware of the great chasm of need and weakness that I am. I am instantly uplifted, because I know how my Great God has foreseen these weaknesses and shortcomings and before my birth has made provision for them. I am filled with joy and faith. I now feel comfort in asking my Heavenly Father, because He will answer me. I ask boldly, because I am so aware of the power of God, He can indeed do anything. I also ask based on the Cross, i.e. because of the great price paid for my salvation and the great love shown to me by my former enemy, my heart's desire is to grow in closeness to this Savior and to become as much like this great Lover of my soul as is possible. All of these things are the tip of the iceberg...I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. All this from the life-giving gospel applied to the gift of prayer. What an amazing, kind, God we serve!

P.S. The initial statement comes from a handout I received from C.J. Mahaney entitled "18 Suggestions to help keep the Main thing the Main thing:"

Sick-O

I have the flu...

Young Wife Epiphany (Quickie)

I was just in our guest (i.e. junk) room, cleaning up, when I found a couple of notes written to my husband in college. He attended a Baptist college for his first two years, and I guess they had "Affirmation Cubbies" that students were encouraged to use to spur one another on. Not sure, but anyway, reading briefly through the notes, I had an epiphany. My husband NEEDS my encouragement. Duh. To further this point...apparently, my mother-in-law kept journals for each of her children (she has ten by the way) which recorded times when they blessed her in various ways. Well, this Christmas, she gave my husband his journal, and for our car trip home, he asked me to read it out loud to him while we drove the 2 hour trek back to Athens. There were a couple of (in my opinion) really sweet, maybe even *gasp* sappy remarks in there, and whenever I laughed after reading one, I noticed it really kind of offended my husband. Hmm... could it be that once again, my precious, Godly mother-in-law knows something that I do not? :-) She understood her sons' need for encouragement. I am so often there to poke fun at him in the Elizabeth Darcy fashion, when I need to be my husband's biggest fan, always there to point out to him areas where he is succeeding (by God's grace) and even to the point of sappiness, he feeds off of this encouragement. In my opinion, this type of encouragement is really giving due respect with joy. The Bible commands several times in Scripture that the wife ought to respect her husband. Eph 5:33, 1 Peter 3:1-2, 1 Tim. 3:7 (command includes wives)

What I don't mean is that I ought to flatter my husband, or puff him up with pride...rather, I am to give him Gospel-centered encouragement, reminding him that any progress he makes is a result of the price paid for him on the cross, and according to the enabling work of the Holy Spirit within him. However, while he runs the race, I am to cheer him on. Yay for my sweet Johnmark!!!

Wednesday Proverbs

First, 411 message... I think this prayer topic is something I want to really take seriously and address with a lot more fullness than a couple of off-the-cuff blogs can do. Unlike some of my more prolific friends, I will need time to research, pray, and plan as I prepare to take this subject on. And please understand my purpose here is not to preach, but to clearly express my own convictions as well as the valuable instruction found in God's Word in order to encourage and possibly challenge the reader. (Rest assured, most of what I post will be something for which I too am striving, not an area where I have "arrived"). In any case, I will not continue today with that post. Probably will resume next Tuesday.


For now,

I have been reading in Proverbs for about the past month and have been setting aside a list of verses that particularly convict or otherwise capture my thinking for Christ and my pursuit of Godly living. I think it will benefit me (and hopefully you) to expound on some of these same verses. Today's Proverb is:

"Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad." ~Prov. 12:25

which I think particularly speaks to me when seen through the spectacles of this verse:

"But you have come...to Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel." ~Hebrews 12:22-24

These two verses provide great reason for joy without ceasing! When I am tempted to fear or worry because my children won't listen, or when I fear that my husband won't make his fiscal goal for the month and we won't get paid, or for any other reason under the sun...THIS speaks a better word than all my fears have to say. In fact, it quite silences them. Thank you Jesus for the better word of your precious blood!

"What can wash away my sin?
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood, nothing but the blood of Jesus!

What can wash me pure as snow?

Welcomed as the friend of God

Nothing but your blood, nothing but your blood, King Jesus"
~Nothing but the Blood, Matt Redman

Personal Reflections on Prayer

I think it would be wise for me to limit my daily blogtime to about fifteen minutes. Thankfully, I have had the chance to sit and think both yesterday and today. I am still wrestling with the discipline of prayer. I am so amazed by the movement away from prayer that I find creeping into the church at large. One book that I read years ago called Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire really affected my heart toward prayer. Now, I am not talking about canned, Sunday School style praying for "unspoken" requests and your great aunt evelyn's neighbor's dog to be healed of corns. I am talking about heart wrenching realization of your utter need for God, and crying out from the deep places in your heart for His intervention, sustanence, and favor. I am talking about seeking His face and learning to ask Him to show you what to pray when you don't know. Believe me, God will answer that request. One thing in particular that I had never come to realize was that true prayer calls for humility. Now, I know this may not be rocket science to some, but walking backwards from why we pray to why we don't pray helped me to realize that I wasn't asking God because I didn't think I needed Him. I think I will have to close for now, but I am planning to write more later about this topic.