God has been merciful to our country in allowing President Bush to place two Supreme Court Justices this term. I would say that much of the controversy about the most recent addition, Justice Alito, centers around the Roe v. Wade desicion, which is 33 years old this month. Thank God for men like John Piper, who recently spoke to the issue of Abortion and our role as Christians. I would append to his message that we ought to pray that these conservative judges would have the oppurtunity to overrule and reverse the Roe v. Wade desicion once and for all. By the way, for those of us here in Athens, this is a list of the abortion clinics in our area, please join me in praying for the salvation of the employees, as well as for the (saved and unsaved) women who keep them in business:
A Preferred Women's Health Center
AUGUSTA, GEORGIA
2903 Professional Parkway up to 20 weeks
Northside Women's Clinic
3543 Chamblee-Dunwoody Road
Atlanta, Georgia 30341
*operating since 1969* up to 15 weeks
Dunwoody Women's Medical Group
3114 Mercer University Drive, Suite 100
Atlanta, Georgia 30341
*up to 14 weeks
This is written on their website:
Visitors: Each patient may bring one adult visitor. No children are allowed in the facility.
Atlanta Women's Medical Center
235 W Wieuca Rd
Atlanta, Georgia
*operating since 1975
up to 24.5 weeks...these babies actually have a fighting chance if born by this age.
Feminist Women's Health Center
1924 Cliff Valley Way
Atlanta, Georgia
*up to 24.5 weeks
Summit Medical Center
1874 Piedmont Rd
Atlanta, Georgia
*up to 24.5 weeks
1.31.2006
End of the Month Eval.
I can't believe January is over. That means it isn't really a new year anymore (unless you are Chinese). I only have 11/12's of 2006 left to live. How have I spent the time so far this year? I think there is much groundwork to do in establishing, so I would safely say this month has been spent trench-digging for the year. Planning a new schedule for my housecleaning/time management, preparing for a new church location, re-arranging furniture, planning for my garden this year. All preparation for things that will happen later. Something else I have "planned" for this year is/was to really be intentional about pursuing prayer over the first three months of the year. Not that prayer is only important to me during this time, but I do want to focus here for a bit, and then, by God's grace, move to another area and allow this one to continue without being the main focus. And I am already a third of the way through that time. Wow.
What has God done?
Recognize my dry bones, and encourage me to fill them with living water. Now that I have seen my growing need for times of prayer and fasting, it is time to pursue with my heart what I have understood with my mind. Johnmark and I were talking last night about our mutual desire to grow in the area of prayer, and in particular praying together. I am excited that the Lord would move on his heart as I am in this time of growing in commitment to and desire for prayer. Also, this past month the Lord has blessed me with countless oppurtunities to teach Tabitha about prayer, and how God answers her prayers. Example: She had a rash on her little bottom...ok briefly, she went to a friend's house to play and they decided to play dress-up, which means they had to take off their clothes and put on the costumes...well, Tabitha apparently decided diaper qualifies as clothes and took it off. Somehow the other little girl managed to loan her some panties, but regardless, she played for a while soaked in pee pee dress up clothes, and hence a rash on her bottom. So, I talked to her about Jesus fixing her bottom, and she prayed for him to heal her rash, and the next morning, it was totally gone. Totally. I had not put any cream on it, and it had hung on for several days prior to praying (I was actually becoming suspicious that it might be a staff infection) and boom! God heals her. So exciting to see the light go off in her head too. We have been praying for other people who are sick ever since.
So, I am greatly encouraged but also have a sense of urgency not to dimish, but rather increase my efforts and see what God has in store over this increasingly briefer season of prayer!
What has God done?
Recognize my dry bones, and encourage me to fill them with living water. Now that I have seen my growing need for times of prayer and fasting, it is time to pursue with my heart what I have understood with my mind. Johnmark and I were talking last night about our mutual desire to grow in the area of prayer, and in particular praying together. I am excited that the Lord would move on his heart as I am in this time of growing in commitment to and desire for prayer. Also, this past month the Lord has blessed me with countless oppurtunities to teach Tabitha about prayer, and how God answers her prayers. Example: She had a rash on her little bottom...ok briefly, she went to a friend's house to play and they decided to play dress-up, which means they had to take off their clothes and put on the costumes...well, Tabitha apparently decided diaper qualifies as clothes and took it off. Somehow the other little girl managed to loan her some panties, but regardless, she played for a while soaked in pee pee dress up clothes, and hence a rash on her bottom. So, I talked to her about Jesus fixing her bottom, and she prayed for him to heal her rash, and the next morning, it was totally gone. Totally. I had not put any cream on it, and it had hung on for several days prior to praying (I was actually becoming suspicious that it might be a staff infection) and boom! God heals her. So exciting to see the light go off in her head too. We have been praying for other people who are sick ever since.
So, I am greatly encouraged but also have a sense of urgency not to dimish, but rather increase my efforts and see what God has in store over this increasingly briefer season of prayer!
1.26.2006
The Strife of learning SLOWLY
As I walked around my house this morning, sweeping the floor and thinking about what I wanted to write today, I am increasingly fighting the desire to move away from this conviction of prayer. Taylor, move on, there's nothing new to say on this matter, you're floundering...clearly if you just started talking and thinking about this other topic, or just share what you're learning as you prepare to teach in March...and so my thoughts go. But, by God's grace, I also hear a still, small voice saying in the back of my mind "Stay." One simple word, that my steamroller brain wants to blow right past and call in the aftermath a meaningless swirl of dust and not the voice of the Almighty. I am learning now that just as a spiritual discipline becomes difficult, my human tendency is to charge away on some new valiant quest, of which I know there is an inexhaustible list (because I am so far from perfect). But I see that what makes a discipline called a discipline is that when the challenge of it requires you to dig in and continue in spite of the temptation to give up and move on to some more interesting or seemingly relevant task, you must resist and stay the course, crying out for more of God's grace and for your heart to wait on the Lord. To make a simple analogy, let's go back to my sweeping the floor. On many days I manage to get the kitchen swept alright, but as my broom moves closer to the living room and I think about all the furniture I have to move and how I also must walk all the way back to the laundry room to get the dustpan and how if I just look to my left I realize that there are a few dishes that still haven't been put in the dishwasher...and about half the time I lean my broom carefully over the little pile of crumbs and dust that I have swept and walk over to the sink to get these dishes washed; and sometimes at about 5:30 when my husband gets home from work, he makes his way to the couch, stepping across this same broom that has remained all day guarding the small pile of dust (which by neglect of being an unfinished task, the pile of dust is that much smaller), and then I see the broom for the first time all day, and I just can't believe I never got that done.
So now, my spiritual heart is looking around for some dishes! I need to perservere even more. I read a quote the other day that I have not been able to find again, but the gist of it went something like this: The more spiritual the task, the harder it is to cultivate this task. The simpler it may seem, the more difficult to master. I will continue to look for the actual quote, because I feel I have butchered it savagely just now, but my little son is crying for my attention in the other room and that will just have to do for now. :-)
So now, my spiritual heart is looking around for some dishes! I need to perservere even more. I read a quote the other day that I have not been able to find again, but the gist of it went something like this: The more spiritual the task, the harder it is to cultivate this task. The simpler it may seem, the more difficult to master. I will continue to look for the actual quote, because I feel I have butchered it savagely just now, but my little son is crying for my attention in the other room and that will just have to do for now. :-)
1.24.2006
The following is from Charles Spurgeon's Morning and Evening (sorry if you are reading it, I read ahead to this evening's portion). Had a wonderful sermon this week about intimacy with Christ, and this freshly reminds me of the difference between acting as a disciple, and living as a disciple.
“Martha was cumbered about much serving.”
- Luk_10:40
Her fault was not that she served: the condition of a servant well becomes every Christian. “I serve,” should be the motto of all the princes of the royal family of heaven. Nor was it her fault that she had “much serving.” We cannot do too much. Let us do all that we possibly can; let head, and heart, and hands, be engaged in the Master’s service. It was no fault of hers that she was busy preparing a feast for the Master. Happy Martha, to have an opportunity of entertaining so blessed a guest; and happy, too, to have the spirit to throw her whole soul so heartily into the engagement. Her fault was that she grew “cumbered with much serving,” so that she forgot him, and only remembered the service. She allowed service to override communion, and so presented one duty stained with the blood of another. We ought to be Martha and Mary in one: we should do much service, and have much communion at the same time. For this we need great grace. It is easier to serve than to commune. Joshua never grew weary in fighting with the Amalekites; but Moses, on the top of the mountain in prayer, needed two helpers to sustain his hands. The more spiritual the exercise, the sooner we tire in it. The choicest fruits are the hardest to rear: the most heavenly graces are the most difficult to cultivate. Beloved, while we do not neglect external things, which are good enough in themselves, we ought also to see to it that we enjoy living, personal fellowship with Jesus. See to it that sitting at the Saviour’s feet is not neglected, even though it be under the specious pretext of doing him service. The first thing for our soul’s health, the first thing for his glory, and the first thing for our own usefulness, is to keep ourselves in perpetual communion with the Lord Jesus, and to see that the vital spirituality of our religion is maintained over and above everything else in the world.
1.22.2006
1.18.2006
January is Time to Organize
Things to do, things to do! I am so aware of all the possibilities available to devote my time to. They increase exponentially as time passes, I suppose. My struggle is to do what God has called me to, even if it's not my choice and even if it may appear peripheral to what I consider my "life" i.e. my priorities. Persevering in prayer is definitely one of those areas. It seems so often to be a take-it-or-leave-it category to my day. Lord, change my heart! Proverbs 31:1-2 in particular comes to my mind:
The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him:
What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb? What are you doing, son of my vows?
The implication of this verse is the praying "vows" of the mother. I am called as the Proverbs 31 woman to be in prayer for my children. It teaches me that relying on my own wit, intuition, strength and creativity simply will not do. I NEED God's help, his wisdom, his will revealed, his power as my only true hope for success in parenting my kids. How easily I forget my needs in the midst of their sin. I am so quick to "handle it myself" and not pause to ask for help from my heavenly Father. But not only that, I need to be interceding for my kids. Asking the Lord to help them, strengthen them, draw their tender hearts to himself, to bless them, and encourage them (through me and their dad primarily).
Aside from
devoting some time each day to this task (not to mention all the times I cry out in the moment of need, Lord HELP!) there are other ways I am seeking to grow. I am reading a book by Elisabeth Elliot called Keep a Quiet Heart, which really has helped to adjust my perspective about seeing the interruptions of my day as work that God has called me to, instead of mere inconveniences. Not just in terms of these times being oppurtunities to exercise patience, grace, etc. but moreso along the lines of this being what I am to be about, in spite of my notions about what is an important or noteworthy task. Seeing my day as the Lord's and not my own, and cheerfully moving through it with this perspective will do my heart a world of good. I do earnestly desire such a quiet heart!
The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him:
What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb? What are you doing, son of my vows?
The implication of this verse is the praying "vows" of the mother. I am called as the Proverbs 31 woman to be in prayer for my children. It teaches me that relying on my own wit, intuition, strength and creativity simply will not do. I NEED God's help, his wisdom, his will revealed, his power as my only true hope for success in parenting my kids. How easily I forget my needs in the midst of their sin. I am so quick to "handle it myself" and not pause to ask for help from my heavenly Father. But not only that, I need to be interceding for my kids. Asking the Lord to help them, strengthen them, draw their tender hearts to himself, to bless them, and encourage them (through me and their dad primarily).
Aside from
devoting some time each day to this task (not to mention all the times I cry out in the moment of need, Lord HELP!) there are other ways I am seeking to grow. I am reading a book by Elisabeth Elliot called Keep a Quiet Heart, which really has helped to adjust my perspective about seeing the interruptions of my day as work that God has called me to, instead of mere inconveniences. Not just in terms of these times being oppurtunities to exercise patience, grace, etc. but moreso along the lines of this being what I am to be about, in spite of my notions about what is an important or noteworthy task. Seeing my day as the Lord's and not my own, and cheerfully moving through it with this perspective will do my heart a world of good. I do earnestly desire such a quiet heart!
1.13.2006
Nothing Important
Hey! I really should be writing a nice long meaningful post, but instead, since it's Friday...I have a really great blonde joke to pass along. :-) Enjoy...
1.10.2006
The Gospel and Prayer
14. Begin prayer each day confining yourself to giving thanks for the Cross and the effects of the Cross in your life.
Wow! That piece of advice has been sitting on my refrigerator for two years. And it hasn't really hit me until last night what a powerful tool prayer can be in orienting my life to the gospel. I have always loved John Piper's definition of prayer because it is so simple. Prayer is asking. How true. So, strictly speaking, I would say that giving thanks is possibly a tunnel or state of heart through which prayer can be expressed. How kind of God that it is also a means of grace to us. When I begin by thanking God for the Cross, it reminds me of His love for me and for the price of my salvation (being the very blood of Christ incarnate). I am instantly humbled, and aware of the great chasm of need and weakness that I am. I am instantly uplifted, because I know how my Great God has foreseen these weaknesses and shortcomings and before my birth has made provision for them. I am filled with joy and faith. I now feel comfort in asking my Heavenly Father, because He will answer me. I ask boldly, because I am so aware of the power of God, He can indeed do anything. I also ask based on the Cross, i.e. because of the great price paid for my salvation and the great love shown to me by my former enemy, my heart's desire is to grow in closeness to this Savior and to become as much like this great Lover of my soul as is possible. All of these things are the tip of the iceberg...I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. All this from the life-giving gospel applied to the gift of prayer. What an amazing, kind, God we serve!
P.S. The initial statement comes from a handout I received from C.J. Mahaney entitled "18 Suggestions to help keep the Main thing the Main thing:"
Wow! That piece of advice has been sitting on my refrigerator for two years. And it hasn't really hit me until last night what a powerful tool prayer can be in orienting my life to the gospel. I have always loved John Piper's definition of prayer because it is so simple. Prayer is asking. How true. So, strictly speaking, I would say that giving thanks is possibly a tunnel or state of heart through which prayer can be expressed. How kind of God that it is also a means of grace to us. When I begin by thanking God for the Cross, it reminds me of His love for me and for the price of my salvation (being the very blood of Christ incarnate). I am instantly humbled, and aware of the great chasm of need and weakness that I am. I am instantly uplifted, because I know how my Great God has foreseen these weaknesses and shortcomings and before my birth has made provision for them. I am filled with joy and faith. I now feel comfort in asking my Heavenly Father, because He will answer me. I ask boldly, because I am so aware of the power of God, He can indeed do anything. I also ask based on the Cross, i.e. because of the great price paid for my salvation and the great love shown to me by my former enemy, my heart's desire is to grow in closeness to this Savior and to become as much like this great Lover of my soul as is possible. All of these things are the tip of the iceberg...I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. All this from the life-giving gospel applied to the gift of prayer. What an amazing, kind, God we serve!
P.S. The initial statement comes from a handout I received from C.J. Mahaney entitled "18 Suggestions to help keep the Main thing the Main thing:"
1.06.2006
1.04.2006
Young Wife Epiphany (Quickie)
I was just in our guest (i.e. junk) room, cleaning up, when I found a couple of notes written to my husband in college. He attended a Baptist college for his first two years, and I guess they had "Affirmation Cubbies" that students were encouraged to use to spur one another on. Not sure, but anyway, reading briefly through the notes, I had an epiphany. My husband NEEDS my encouragement. Duh. To further this point...apparently, my mother-in-law kept journals for each of her children (she has ten by the way) which recorded times when they blessed her in various ways. Well, this Christmas, she gave my husband his journal, and for our car trip home, he asked me to read it out loud to him while we drove the 2 hour trek back to Athens. There were a couple of (in my opinion) really sweet, maybe even *gasp* sappy remarks in there, and whenever I laughed after reading one, I noticed it really kind of offended my husband. Hmm... could it be that once again, my precious, Godly mother-in-law knows something that I do not? :-) She understood her sons' need for encouragement. I am so often there to poke fun at him in the Elizabeth Darcy fashion, when I need to be my husband's biggest fan, always there to point out to him areas where he is succeeding (by God's grace) and even to the point of sappiness, he feeds off of this encouragement. In my opinion, this type of encouragement is really giving due respect with joy. The Bible commands several times in Scripture that the wife ought to respect her husband. Eph 5:33, 1 Peter 3:1-2, 1 Tim. 3:7 (command includes wives)
What I don't mean is that I ought to flatter my husband, or puff him up with pride...rather, I am to give him Gospel-centered encouragement, reminding him that any progress he makes is a result of the price paid for him on the cross, and according to the enabling work of the Holy Spirit within him. However, while he runs the race, I am to cheer him on. Yay for my sweet Johnmark!!!
What I don't mean is that I ought to flatter my husband, or puff him up with pride...rather, I am to give him Gospel-centered encouragement, reminding him that any progress he makes is a result of the price paid for him on the cross, and according to the enabling work of the Holy Spirit within him. However, while he runs the race, I am to cheer him on. Yay for my sweet Johnmark!!!
Wednesday Proverbs
First, 411 message... I think this prayer topic is something I want to really take seriously and address with a lot more fullness than a couple of off-the-cuff blogs can do. Unlike some of my more prolific friends, I will need time to research, pray, and plan as I prepare to take this subject on. And please understand my purpose here is not to preach, but to clearly express my own convictions as well as the valuable instruction found in God's Word in order to encourage and possibly challenge the reader. (Rest assured, most of what I post will be something for which I too am striving, not an area where I have "arrived"). In any case, I will not continue today with that post. Probably will resume next Tuesday.
For now,
I have been reading in Proverbs for about the past month and have been setting aside a list of verses that particularly convict or otherwise capture my thinking for Christ and my pursuit of Godly living. I think it will benefit me (and hopefully you) to expound on some of these same verses. Today's Proverb is:
"Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad." ~Prov. 12:25
which I think particularly speaks to me when seen through the spectacles of this verse:
"But you have come...to Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel." ~Hebrews 12:22-24
These two verses provide great reason for joy without ceasing! When I am tempted to fear or worry because my children won't listen, or when I fear that my husband won't make his fiscal goal for the month and we won't get paid, or for any other reason under the sun...THIS speaks a better word than all my fears have to say. In fact, it quite silences them. Thank you Jesus for the better word of your precious blood!
"What can wash away my sin?
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood, nothing but the blood of Jesus!
What can wash me pure as snow?
Welcomed as the friend of God
Nothing but your blood, nothing but your blood, King Jesus"
~Nothing but the Blood, Matt Redman
For now,
I have been reading in Proverbs for about the past month and have been setting aside a list of verses that particularly convict or otherwise capture my thinking for Christ and my pursuit of Godly living. I think it will benefit me (and hopefully you) to expound on some of these same verses. Today's Proverb is:
"Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad." ~Prov. 12:25
which I think particularly speaks to me when seen through the spectacles of this verse:
"But you have come...to Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel." ~Hebrews 12:22-24
These two verses provide great reason for joy without ceasing! When I am tempted to fear or worry because my children won't listen, or when I fear that my husband won't make his fiscal goal for the month and we won't get paid, or for any other reason under the sun...THIS speaks a better word than all my fears have to say. In fact, it quite silences them. Thank you Jesus for the better word of your precious blood!
"What can wash away my sin?
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood, nothing but the blood of Jesus!
What can wash me pure as snow?
Welcomed as the friend of God
Nothing but your blood, nothing but your blood, King Jesus"
~Nothing but the Blood, Matt Redman
1.03.2006
Personal Reflections on Prayer
I think it would be wise for me to limit my daily blogtime to about fifteen minutes. Thankfully, I have had the chance to sit and think both yesterday and today. I am still wrestling with the discipline of prayer. I am so amazed by the movement away from prayer that I find creeping into the church at large. One book that I read years ago called Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire really affected my heart toward prayer. Now, I am not talking about canned, Sunday School style praying for "unspoken" requests and your great aunt evelyn's neighbor's dog to be healed of corns. I am talking about heart wrenching realization of your utter need for God, and crying out from the deep places in your heart for His intervention, sustanence, and favor. I am talking about seeking His face and learning to ask Him to show you what to pray when you don't know. Believe me, God will answer that request. One thing in particular that I had never come to realize was that true prayer calls for humility. Now, I know this may not be rocket science to some, but walking backwards from why we pray to why we don't pray helped me to realize that I wasn't asking God because I didn't think I needed Him. I think I will have to close for now, but I am planning to write more later about this topic.
1.02.2006
New Year (a day late)
Well, I suppose the New Year makes for a good excuse to start blogging. My six month old son is the reason I am here. (He's seated behind me...babbling loudly for my attention, both kids woke up with a fever this morning). The biggest thing on my spiritual plate these days is discipline. I don't mean trouble, although sometimes it feels this way. I mean choosing what is best in a fallen world, particularly what is best to devote my time to. Things distract me constantly. I think as a young mother I even have distractions from my distractions. :-) But one thing is clear to me from Scripture. This life is not to be taken lightly. It is a cosmic battle for the eternal souls of all people and I have been ordained as a warrior, like it or not. There's no point hiding in the fields eating cucumbers when I ought to be sharpening my sword and practicing my charge. The challenge for me is to live as though I truly believe in the God I call my Savior.
I also tend to be an extrmemist, spending one week devoted entirely to scripture reading (to the neglect of my home and family), the next week I don't crack the Bible because I feel such conviction for ignoring my husband and kids, and the following week off on selfish pursuits and laziness because I "need a break" from all the housework and child-rearing. What a mess, but boy am I ever amazed by the grace of God!
I also tend to be an extrmemist, spending one week devoted entirely to scripture reading (to the neglect of my home and family), the next week I don't crack the Bible because I feel such conviction for ignoring my husband and kids, and the following week off on selfish pursuits and laziness because I "need a break" from all the housework and child-rearing. What a mess, but boy am I ever amazed by the grace of God!
11.15.2005
The First Light
I can think of no better way to start this journey than to include the Resolutions of Jonathan Edwards that he wrote at the age of 19-20 years. I have highlighted ones that speak loudest to my heart.
1. Resolved, that I will do whatsoever I think to be most to God's glory, and my own good, profit and pleasure, in the whole of my duration, without any consideration of the time, whether now, or never so many myriad's of ages hence. Resolved to do whatever I think to be my duty and most for the good and advantage of mankind in general. Resolved to do this, whatever difficulties I meet with, how many and how great soever.
2. Resolved, to be continually endeavoring to find out some new invention and contrivance to promote the aforementioned things.
3. Resolved, if ever I shall fall and grow dull, so as to neglect to keep any part of these Resolutions, to repent of all I can remember, when I come to myself again.
4. Resolved, never to do any manner of thing, whether in soul or body, less or more, but what tends to the glory of God; nor be, nor suffer it, if I can avoid it.
5. Resolved, never to lose one moment of time; but improve it the most profitable way I possibly can.
6. Resolved, to live with all my might, while I do live.
7. Resolved, never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if it were the last hour of my life.
8. Resolved, to act, in all respects, both speaking and doing, as if nobody had been so vile as I, and as if I had committed the same sins, or had the same infirmities or failings as others; and that I will let the knowledge of their failings promote nothing but shame in myself, and prove only an occasion of my confessing my own sins and misery to God.
9. Resolved, to think much on all occasions of my own dying, and of the common circumstances which attend death.
10. Resolved, when I feel pain, to think of the pains of martyrdom, and of hell.
11. Resolved, when I think of any theorem in divinity to be solved, immediately to do what I can towards solving it, if circumstances don't hinder.
12. Resolved, if I take delight in it as a gratification of pride, or vanity, or on any such account, immediately to throw it by.
13. Resolved, to be endeavoring to find out fit objects of charity and liberality.
14. Resolved, never to do anything out of revenge.
15. Resolved, never to suffer the least motions of anger to irrational beings.
16. Resolved, never to speak evil of anyone, so that it shall tend to his dishonor, more or less, upon no account except for some real good.
17. Resolved, that I will live so as I shall wish I had done when I come to die.
18. Resolved, to live so at all times, as I think is best in my devout frames, and when I have clearest notions of things of the gospel, and another world.
19. Resolved, never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if I expected it would not be above an hour, before I should hear the last trump.
20. Resolved, to maintain the strictest temperance in eating and drinking.
21. Resolved, never to do anything, which if I should see in another, I should count a just occasion to despise him for, or to think any way the more meanly of him.
(Resolutions 1 through 21 written in on setting in New Haven in 1722)
22. Resolved, to endeavor to obtain for myself as much happiness, in the other world, as I possibly can, with all the power; might, vigor, and vehemence, yea violence, I am capable of, or can bring myself to exert, in any way that can be thought of.
23. Resolved, frequently to take some deliberate action, which seems most unlikely to be done, for the glory of God, and trace it back to the original intention, designs and ends of it; and if I find it not to be for God's glory, to repute it as a breach of the 4th Resolution.
24. Resolved, whenever I do any conspicuously evil action, to trace it back, till I come to the original cause; and then both carefully endeavor to do so no more, and to fight and pray with all my might against the original of it.
25. Resolved, to examine carefully, and constantly, what that one thing in me is, which causes me in the least to doubt of the love of God; and to direct all my forces against it.
26. Resolved, to east away such things, as I find do abate my assurance.
27. Resolved, never willfully to omit anything, except the omission be for the glory of God; and frequently to examine my omissions.
28. Resolved, to study the Scriptures so steadily, constantly and frequently, as that I may find, and plainly perceive myself to grow in the knowledge of the same.
29. Resolved, never to count that a prayer, nor to let that pass as a prayer, nor that as a petition of a prayer, which is so made, that I cannot hope that God will answer it; nor that as a confession, which I cannot hope God will accept.
30. Resolved, to strive to my utmost every week to be brought higher in religion, and to a higher exercise of grace, than I was the week before.
31. Resolved, never to say anything at all against anybody, but when it is
perfectly agreeable to the highest degree of Christian honor, and of love to mankind, agreeable to the lowest humility, and sense of my own faults and failings, and agreeable to the golden rule; often, when I have said anything against anyone, to bring it to, and try it strictly by the test of this Resolution.
32. Resolved, to be strictly and firmly faithful to my trust, that that in Prov. 20:6, "A faithful man who can find?" may not be partly fulfilled in me.
33. Resolved, always to do what I can towards making, maintaining, establishing and preserving peace, when it can be without over-balancing detriment in other respects. Dec.26, 1722.
34. Resolved, in narrations never to speak anything but the pure and simple verity.
35. Resolved, whenever I so much question whether I have done my duty, as that my quiet and calm is thereby disturbed, to set it down, and also how the question was resolved. Dec. 18, 1722.
36. Resolved, never to speak evil of any, except I have some particular good call for it. Dec. 19, 1722.
37. Resolved, to inquire every night, as I am going to bed, wherein I have been negligent, what sin I have committed, and wherein I have denied myself: also at the end of every week, month and year. Dec.22 and 26, 1722.
38. Resolved, never to speak anything that is ridiculous, sportive, or matter of laughter on the Lord's day. Sabbath evening, Dec. 23, 1722.
39. Resolved, never to do anything that I so much question the lawfulness of, as that I intend, at the same time, to consider and examine afterwards, whether it be lawful or no; except I as much question the lawfulness of the omission.
40. Resolved, to inquire every night, before I go to bed, whether I have acted in the best way I possibly could, with respect to eating and drinking. Jan. 7, 1723.
41. Resolved, to ask myself at the end of every day, week, month and year, wherein I could possibly in any respect have done better. Jan. 11, 1723.
42. Resolved, frequently to renew the dedication of myself to God, which was made at my baptism; which I solemnly renewed, when I was received into the communion of the church; and which I have solemnly re-made this twelfth day of January, 1722-23.
43. Resolved, never henceforward, till I die, to act as if I were any way my own, but entirely and altogether God's, agreeable to what is to be found in Saturday, January 12. Jan.12, 1723.
44- Resolved, that no other end but religion, shall have any influence at all on any of my actions; and that no action shall be, in the least circumstance, any otherwise than the religious end will carry it. Jan.12, 1723.
45. Resolved, never to allow any pleasure or grief, joy or sorrow, nor any affection at all, nor any degree of affection, nor any circumstance relating to it, but what helps religion. Jan.12 and 13.1723.
46. Resolved, never to allow the least measure of any fretting uneasiness at my father or mother. Resolved to suffer no effects of it, so much as in the least alteration of speech, or motion of my eve: and to be especially careful of it, with respect to any of our family.
47. Resolved, to endeavor to my utmost to deny whatever is not most agreeable to a good, and universally sweet and benevolent, quiet, peaceable, contented, easy, compassionate, generous, humble, meek, modest, submissive, obliging, diligent and industrious, charitable, even, patient, moderate, forgiving, sincere temper; and to do at all times what such a temper would lead me to. Examine strictly every week, whether I have done so. Sabbath morning. May 5,1723.
48. Resolved, constantly, with the utmost niceness and diligence, and the strictest scrutiny, to be looking into the state of my soul, that I may know whether I have truly an interest in Christ or no; that when I come to die, I may not have any negligence respecting this to repent of. May 26, 1723.
49. Resolved, that this never shall be, if I can help it.
50. Resolved, I will act so as I think I shall judge would have been best, and most prudent, when I come into the future world. July 5, 1723.
51. Resolved, that I will act so, in every respect, as I think I shall wish I had done, if I should at last be damned. July 8, 1723.
52. I frequently hear persons in old age say how they would live, if they were to live their lives over again: Resolved, that I will live just so as I can think I shall wish I had done, supposing I live to old age. July 8, 1723.
53. Resolved, to improve every opportunity, when I am in the best and happiest frame of mind, to cast and venture my soul on the Lord Jesus Christ, to trust and confide in him, and consecrate myself wholly to him; that from this I may have assurance of my safety, knowing that I confide in my Redeemer. July 8, 1723.
54. Whenever I hear anything spoken in conversation of any person, if I think it would be praiseworthy in me, Resolved to endeavor to imitate it. July 8, 1723.
55. Resolved, to endeavor to my utmost to act as I can think I should do, if I had already seen the happiness of heaven, and hell torments. July 8, 1723.
56. Resolved, never to give over, nor in the least to slacken my fight with my corruptions, however unsuccessful I may be.
57. Resolved, when I fear misfortunes and adversities, to examine whether ~ have done my duty, and resolve to do it; and let it be just as providence orders it, I will as far as I can, be concerned about nothing but my duty and my sin. June 9, and July 13 1723.
58. Resolved, not only to refrain from an air of dislike, fretfulness, and anger in conversation, but to exhibit an air of love, cheerfulness and benignity. May27, and July 13, 1723.
59. Resolved, when I am most conscious of provocations to ill nature and anger, that I will strive most to feel and act good-naturedly; yea, at such times, to manifest good nature, though I think that in other respects it would be disadvantageous, and so as would be imprudent at other times. May 12, July ii, and July 13.
60. Resolved, whenever my feelings begin to appear in the least out of order, when I am conscious of the least uneasiness within, or the least irregularity without, I will then subject myself to the strictest examination. July 4, and 13, 1723.
61. Resolved, that I will not give way to that listlessness which I find unbends and relaxes my mind from being fully and fixedly set on religion, whatever excuse I may have for it-that what my listlessness inclines me to do, is best to be done, etc. May 21, and July 13, 1723.
62. Resolved, never to do anything but duty; and then according to Eph. 6:6-8, do it willingly and cheerfully as unto the Lord, and not to man; "knowing that whatever good thing any man doth, the same shall he receive of the Lord." June 25 and July 13, 1723.
63. On the supposition, that there never was to be but one individual in the world, at any one time, who was properly a complete Christian, in all respects of a right stamp, having Christianity always shining in its true luster, and appearing excellent and lovely, from whatever part and under whatever character viewed: Resolved, to act just as I would do, if I strove with all my might to be that one, who should live in my time. Jan.14' and July '3' 1723.
64. Resolved, when I find those "groanings which cannot be uttered" (Rom. 8:26), of which the Apostle speaks, and those "breakings of soul for the longing it hath," of which the Psalmist speaks, Psalm 119:20, that I will promote them to the utmost of my power, and that I will not be wear', of earnestly endeavoring to vent my desires, nor of the repetitions of such earnestness. July 23, and August 10, 1723.
65. Resolved, very much to exercise myself in this all my life long, viz. with the greatest openness I am capable of, to declare my ways to God, and lay open my soul to him: all my sins, temptations, difficulties, sorrows, fears, hopes, desires, and every thing, and every circumstance; according to Dr. Manton's 27th Sermon on Psalm 119. July 26, and Aug.10 1723.
66. Resolved, that I will endeavor always to keep a benign aspect, and air of acting and speaking in all places, and in all companies, except it should so happen that duty requires otherwise.
67. Resolved, after afflictions, to inquire, what I am the better for them, what good I have got by them, and what I might have got by them.
68. Resolved, to confess frankly to myself all that which I find in myself, either infirmity or sin; and, if it be what concerns religion, also to confess the whole case to God, and implore needed help. July 23, and August 10, 1723.
69. Resolved, always to do that, which I shall wish I had done when I see others do it. Aug. 11, 1723.
70. Let there be something of benevolence, in all that I speak. Aug. 17, 1723
1. Resolved, that I will do whatsoever I think to be most to God's glory, and my own good, profit and pleasure, in the whole of my duration, without any consideration of the time, whether now, or never so many myriad's of ages hence. Resolved to do whatever I think to be my duty and most for the good and advantage of mankind in general. Resolved to do this, whatever difficulties I meet with, how many and how great soever.
2. Resolved, to be continually endeavoring to find out some new invention and contrivance to promote the aforementioned things.
3. Resolved, if ever I shall fall and grow dull, so as to neglect to keep any part of these Resolutions, to repent of all I can remember, when I come to myself again.
4. Resolved, never to do any manner of thing, whether in soul or body, less or more, but what tends to the glory of God; nor be, nor suffer it, if I can avoid it.
5. Resolved, never to lose one moment of time; but improve it the most profitable way I possibly can.
6. Resolved, to live with all my might, while I do live.
7. Resolved, never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if it were the last hour of my life.
8. Resolved, to act, in all respects, both speaking and doing, as if nobody had been so vile as I, and as if I had committed the same sins, or had the same infirmities or failings as others; and that I will let the knowledge of their failings promote nothing but shame in myself, and prove only an occasion of my confessing my own sins and misery to God.
9. Resolved, to think much on all occasions of my own dying, and of the common circumstances which attend death.
10. Resolved, when I feel pain, to think of the pains of martyrdom, and of hell.
11. Resolved, when I think of any theorem in divinity to be solved, immediately to do what I can towards solving it, if circumstances don't hinder.
12. Resolved, if I take delight in it as a gratification of pride, or vanity, or on any such account, immediately to throw it by.
13. Resolved, to be endeavoring to find out fit objects of charity and liberality.
14. Resolved, never to do anything out of revenge.
15. Resolved, never to suffer the least motions of anger to irrational beings.
16. Resolved, never to speak evil of anyone, so that it shall tend to his dishonor, more or less, upon no account except for some real good.
17. Resolved, that I will live so as I shall wish I had done when I come to die.
18. Resolved, to live so at all times, as I think is best in my devout frames, and when I have clearest notions of things of the gospel, and another world.
19. Resolved, never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if I expected it would not be above an hour, before I should hear the last trump.
20. Resolved, to maintain the strictest temperance in eating and drinking.
21. Resolved, never to do anything, which if I should see in another, I should count a just occasion to despise him for, or to think any way the more meanly of him.
(Resolutions 1 through 21 written in on setting in New Haven in 1722)
22. Resolved, to endeavor to obtain for myself as much happiness, in the other world, as I possibly can, with all the power; might, vigor, and vehemence, yea violence, I am capable of, or can bring myself to exert, in any way that can be thought of.
23. Resolved, frequently to take some deliberate action, which seems most unlikely to be done, for the glory of God, and trace it back to the original intention, designs and ends of it; and if I find it not to be for God's glory, to repute it as a breach of the 4th Resolution.
24. Resolved, whenever I do any conspicuously evil action, to trace it back, till I come to the original cause; and then both carefully endeavor to do so no more, and to fight and pray with all my might against the original of it.
25. Resolved, to examine carefully, and constantly, what that one thing in me is, which causes me in the least to doubt of the love of God; and to direct all my forces against it.
26. Resolved, to east away such things, as I find do abate my assurance.
27. Resolved, never willfully to omit anything, except the omission be for the glory of God; and frequently to examine my omissions.
28. Resolved, to study the Scriptures so steadily, constantly and frequently, as that I may find, and plainly perceive myself to grow in the knowledge of the same.
29. Resolved, never to count that a prayer, nor to let that pass as a prayer, nor that as a petition of a prayer, which is so made, that I cannot hope that God will answer it; nor that as a confession, which I cannot hope God will accept.
30. Resolved, to strive to my utmost every week to be brought higher in religion, and to a higher exercise of grace, than I was the week before.
31. Resolved, never to say anything at all against anybody, but when it is
perfectly agreeable to the highest degree of Christian honor, and of love to mankind, agreeable to the lowest humility, and sense of my own faults and failings, and agreeable to the golden rule; often, when I have said anything against anyone, to bring it to, and try it strictly by the test of this Resolution.
32. Resolved, to be strictly and firmly faithful to my trust, that that in Prov. 20:6, "A faithful man who can find?" may not be partly fulfilled in me.
33. Resolved, always to do what I can towards making, maintaining, establishing and preserving peace, when it can be without over-balancing detriment in other respects. Dec.26, 1722.
34. Resolved, in narrations never to speak anything but the pure and simple verity.
35. Resolved, whenever I so much question whether I have done my duty, as that my quiet and calm is thereby disturbed, to set it down, and also how the question was resolved. Dec. 18, 1722.
36. Resolved, never to speak evil of any, except I have some particular good call for it. Dec. 19, 1722.
37. Resolved, to inquire every night, as I am going to bed, wherein I have been negligent, what sin I have committed, and wherein I have denied myself: also at the end of every week, month and year. Dec.22 and 26, 1722.
38. Resolved, never to speak anything that is ridiculous, sportive, or matter of laughter on the Lord's day. Sabbath evening, Dec. 23, 1722.
39. Resolved, never to do anything that I so much question the lawfulness of, as that I intend, at the same time, to consider and examine afterwards, whether it be lawful or no; except I as much question the lawfulness of the omission.
40. Resolved, to inquire every night, before I go to bed, whether I have acted in the best way I possibly could, with respect to eating and drinking. Jan. 7, 1723.
41. Resolved, to ask myself at the end of every day, week, month and year, wherein I could possibly in any respect have done better. Jan. 11, 1723.
42. Resolved, frequently to renew the dedication of myself to God, which was made at my baptism; which I solemnly renewed, when I was received into the communion of the church; and which I have solemnly re-made this twelfth day of January, 1722-23.
43. Resolved, never henceforward, till I die, to act as if I were any way my own, but entirely and altogether God's, agreeable to what is to be found in Saturday, January 12. Jan.12, 1723.
44- Resolved, that no other end but religion, shall have any influence at all on any of my actions; and that no action shall be, in the least circumstance, any otherwise than the religious end will carry it. Jan.12, 1723.
45. Resolved, never to allow any pleasure or grief, joy or sorrow, nor any affection at all, nor any degree of affection, nor any circumstance relating to it, but what helps religion. Jan.12 and 13.1723.
46. Resolved, never to allow the least measure of any fretting uneasiness at my father or mother. Resolved to suffer no effects of it, so much as in the least alteration of speech, or motion of my eve: and to be especially careful of it, with respect to any of our family.
47. Resolved, to endeavor to my utmost to deny whatever is not most agreeable to a good, and universally sweet and benevolent, quiet, peaceable, contented, easy, compassionate, generous, humble, meek, modest, submissive, obliging, diligent and industrious, charitable, even, patient, moderate, forgiving, sincere temper; and to do at all times what such a temper would lead me to. Examine strictly every week, whether I have done so. Sabbath morning. May 5,1723.
48. Resolved, constantly, with the utmost niceness and diligence, and the strictest scrutiny, to be looking into the state of my soul, that I may know whether I have truly an interest in Christ or no; that when I come to die, I may not have any negligence respecting this to repent of. May 26, 1723.
49. Resolved, that this never shall be, if I can help it.
50. Resolved, I will act so as I think I shall judge would have been best, and most prudent, when I come into the future world. July 5, 1723.
51. Resolved, that I will act so, in every respect, as I think I shall wish I had done, if I should at last be damned. July 8, 1723.
52. I frequently hear persons in old age say how they would live, if they were to live their lives over again: Resolved, that I will live just so as I can think I shall wish I had done, supposing I live to old age. July 8, 1723.
53. Resolved, to improve every opportunity, when I am in the best and happiest frame of mind, to cast and venture my soul on the Lord Jesus Christ, to trust and confide in him, and consecrate myself wholly to him; that from this I may have assurance of my safety, knowing that I confide in my Redeemer. July 8, 1723.
54. Whenever I hear anything spoken in conversation of any person, if I think it would be praiseworthy in me, Resolved to endeavor to imitate it. July 8, 1723.
55. Resolved, to endeavor to my utmost to act as I can think I should do, if I had already seen the happiness of heaven, and hell torments. July 8, 1723.
56. Resolved, never to give over, nor in the least to slacken my fight with my corruptions, however unsuccessful I may be.
57. Resolved, when I fear misfortunes and adversities, to examine whether ~ have done my duty, and resolve to do it; and let it be just as providence orders it, I will as far as I can, be concerned about nothing but my duty and my sin. June 9, and July 13 1723.
58. Resolved, not only to refrain from an air of dislike, fretfulness, and anger in conversation, but to exhibit an air of love, cheerfulness and benignity. May27, and July 13, 1723.
59. Resolved, when I am most conscious of provocations to ill nature and anger, that I will strive most to feel and act good-naturedly; yea, at such times, to manifest good nature, though I think that in other respects it would be disadvantageous, and so as would be imprudent at other times. May 12, July ii, and July 13.
60. Resolved, whenever my feelings begin to appear in the least out of order, when I am conscious of the least uneasiness within, or the least irregularity without, I will then subject myself to the strictest examination. July 4, and 13, 1723.
61. Resolved, that I will not give way to that listlessness which I find unbends and relaxes my mind from being fully and fixedly set on religion, whatever excuse I may have for it-that what my listlessness inclines me to do, is best to be done, etc. May 21, and July 13, 1723.
62. Resolved, never to do anything but duty; and then according to Eph. 6:6-8, do it willingly and cheerfully as unto the Lord, and not to man; "knowing that whatever good thing any man doth, the same shall he receive of the Lord." June 25 and July 13, 1723.
63. On the supposition, that there never was to be but one individual in the world, at any one time, who was properly a complete Christian, in all respects of a right stamp, having Christianity always shining in its true luster, and appearing excellent and lovely, from whatever part and under whatever character viewed: Resolved, to act just as I would do, if I strove with all my might to be that one, who should live in my time. Jan.14' and July '3' 1723.
64. Resolved, when I find those "groanings which cannot be uttered" (Rom. 8:26), of which the Apostle speaks, and those "breakings of soul for the longing it hath," of which the Psalmist speaks, Psalm 119:20, that I will promote them to the utmost of my power, and that I will not be wear', of earnestly endeavoring to vent my desires, nor of the repetitions of such earnestness. July 23, and August 10, 1723.
65. Resolved, very much to exercise myself in this all my life long, viz. with the greatest openness I am capable of, to declare my ways to God, and lay open my soul to him: all my sins, temptations, difficulties, sorrows, fears, hopes, desires, and every thing, and every circumstance; according to Dr. Manton's 27th Sermon on Psalm 119. July 26, and Aug.10 1723.
66. Resolved, that I will endeavor always to keep a benign aspect, and air of acting and speaking in all places, and in all companies, except it should so happen that duty requires otherwise.
67. Resolved, after afflictions, to inquire, what I am the better for them, what good I have got by them, and what I might have got by them.
68. Resolved, to confess frankly to myself all that which I find in myself, either infirmity or sin; and, if it be what concerns religion, also to confess the whole case to God, and implore needed help. July 23, and August 10, 1723.
69. Resolved, always to do that, which I shall wish I had done when I see others do it. Aug. 11, 1723.
70. Let there be something of benevolence, in all that I speak. Aug. 17, 1723
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