Why am I awake?

Been meaning to do this for days...should I get back into the habit of blogging? Do I have five minutes and one complete thought to spare? Well, if nothing else, I can at least feign accountability through my present effort. I have been thinking about lots of things lately, but one I mean to share is this: Getting up before my kids to spend time with the Lord is indispensable. This morning, JM and I sat together on the couch, snuggled up and praying together, and (even though I was pretty tired) I have not felt so refreshed in a looong time. Over the past couple of weeks, I have been in this terrible cycle of sinning, feeling condemned by guilt, failing to apply the gospel, and waking up each morning to the sound of my son (or on occasion my other son) asking for food. Sometimes it sounds like this: "Mommy, I hungee. I want pancakes mommy." Or it also sounds like this: "WAAAAAHHH!" (translation, why isn't Dairy Queen, also known as me, open yet?!) In any case, hitting the ground running after a sinful yesterday and a sleepless last night is not a good plan for a grace-filled today. If you don't believe me, ask my kids. I am pretty sure I have been walking around my house all day frowning and donning the wooden spoon for about a week and a half. Last Tuesday on our date, I was confessing my sin and my general sense of shame and hardheartedness to JM as well as my growing fear that true remorse, repentence, and change would never come. He offered me the rather simple solution of resuming my morning quiet time with God and encouraged me specifically to meditate on the power of the gospel in conquering my debt of sin. So, may I emphatically testify to the difference!!



"Awake, O sleeper and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you" Eph. 5:14