So much to say. I am thankful beyond measure for JM and how he has served through the preaching of the word over the past two Sundays. I have been continuously convicted. I am not meek, I do not mourn. I want to change(well, sort of), but find myself believing the lie that greater pleasure lies elsewhere. Yesterday I was so struck with a desire to mourn that I really felt like an Israelite. I wanted to don the sackcloth and sit in my living room until the fullness of my sin was upon me. I wanted my two children to bear witness to me, so that they might also understand the vileness of sin. I used to read in the Old Testament about this activity (donning the sackcloth and ashes) and thought it was a ridiculous thing. I mean, who does that? What's the point? Aren't they just crying for pity...doing this to be seen by others? Well, I think yesterday the appeal to me was that I wanted to be humbled by demonstration of my wretchedness before God and my family. In any case, I didn't go through with it. :-) In case you were wondering.
I do want my heart to remain there. Go farther in fact. We really are cast on the mercy of Christ at all times. He is, in fact, so merciful that even when we tout His great mercy as our own accomplishment, He has greater mercy still to show us what we are doing against His Name. Wow.
To APPEND:
I want to confess that I am losing steam on the "schedule". Pray for me. Also, I am losing the battle with impatience a little more often these days. Finally, there is a college overnight retreat coming up at the end of this month (girls only) that I am sort of, well, basically in charge of. Much grace is needed, as I still have not begun work on what I am to say. I do have a vague idea...biblical womanhood. Such a small topic, I know. :-)
