2.17.2006

What You See Is Weakness

I am putting together a talk for the ladies at my church, most of which are 10+ years older than I am. The funny thing is that I am talking about part of the Titus 2 passage, which calls the older women to train the younger ones to love their husbands and kids, to be self-controlled, chaste, busy at home, etc. I stop with busy at home, because this is my topic. And I am so aware of my failures. And I am so aware of my age, my inexperience, and my general lack. However, I am called to this. The one who called me is not my pastor, my husband, or even the lady in charge of organizing the talks. Thankfully, it is the Lord who has called me to this. He is the only one upon whom I could rely in the midst of this Grand-Canyon sized expanse of weakness. "My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness!" And I am so aware of it, the Lord has reminded me freshly just now of His power, and His plan being worked out in spite of my foolishness and failure. Here is how. I just checked my email. There was one in my inbox from someone named Katie. Now I made friends with a Katie at church recently, and thought she might have emailed me. Boy did the Lord ever blow me away when I opened the mail. It was not from my new friend, but from a total stranger. A sweet sister in the Lord that I have never met, but who by God's amazing grace has been blessed by my blog. Not even just this blog, but one I started in college years ago. When I look back at the things I had written there and see the weakness and the failings (but also the grace of God at work in me, changing my heart) I am amazed all over again. First, that something so filled with my sinfulness could be redeemed by God for good. Second, that Christ would in his kindness allow me to know of this goodness. Third, that this would come at just the right time in my life (this girl says she has read for a while, but just now got an account to share with me) when I needed to know of His power, His working, and His goodness. God is so awesome and so attentive to bless His children! So, to my new friend...thank you so much for your words of encouragement and your heart's cry for the Lord. He works in the midst of your failings and weakness. I pray that you would keep such a soft heart that longs after the things of God. He will not turn a deaf ear to one who knows their contrite position. The Lord knows you are but dust. Developing spiritual disciplines takes patience, humility, and faith in the mighty grace of God. A friend shared a story with me the other day and I wanted to share it in hopes of encouraging you. She said that she has made bread for years, but has recently decided to start making all of the bread their family will need instead of simply making it from time to time. At first, the bread did well some days, and others it did not rise so much, sometimes it turned out really crumbly, sometimes a little overcooked. However, she did not change the recipe. She simply dig in and contibue baking bread. After a little while she started making really great bread. It was better than she ever remembered. And it was consistently better than she remembered. She said sometimes that's what walking in the spiritual disciplines is like sometimes. We struggle, and we forget, and some days it just makes for a crummy, crumbly mess. But, if we persevere, eventually, the Lord will allow us to develop and make for much better things than we can ever remember having before. "Do not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time you will reap a harvest, if you do not give up" Gal 6:9

2.08.2006

A love for the Church

Just had a friend of my husband's stop by, and while he was talking with Johnmark, he mentioned that his wife and family are praying and fasting today all day through dinner on behalf of the church. They are praying for the other members to have faith for this coming Sunday's service, as well as for care group. I stood in the kitchen, hearing this, and feeling the jealousy of God in my heart. He longs for me to love his bride in that way. I may not be in a season where fasting is a possibility (I am still nursing my son, and barely able to do that), but boy, God can still use my heart. May I have a heart that so longs after God and the furthering of His kingdom, that my day would be shaped by such a sacrificial love for others. Praise the Lord for such a beautiful gift!